A&A

So that Mr. Lam is a busy guy. I can't find him but oh well I certainly will in the next couple of days.

[I wrote the following in the blog first but I feel that I must share with you first hand, thus I copied and pasted and emailed you]
I guess I can't emphasize how big a a change it is in my heart at the moment. I felt so sorrowful during the weekend that words couldn't really describe it. Tired and frustrated, and I had not fully recovered from the tension that we had from a few days earlier. You were very much occupied because of your sister's visitation plus your packed activities; though not that I can tell you much anything in the presence of Jackson & Co. The shock from the car theft, the fact that I lost a precious holiday to deal with it (though thankful, as I have explained to you that if I had to work it would be much worse), and the fact that I gave up skydiving to go to the retreat all put me into this state of emptiness. The Friday discovery of the fact that I made project impacting mistakes just drove me into a deeper state of fear.

But God knows me well. After two days of reflections, lessons and prayers, and as you can probably tell from my earlier posts, I have magically recovered. I have to go all out and trust Him fully. I am feeling filled by the Spirit this very moment. I am feeling loved, content and protected, though I am all by myself at home, alone. If I can use one word to describe how I am feeling now, I would use the word FREE. Nothing entangles me now. No worries, no burdens. I am tired (it's midnight now and it has been a long day), but I am filled with joy and hope. I can face tomorrow!

Sometimes I wonder what you really think about my sudden move for joining the settingcaptivesfree program. After all my history, and all the past attempts, it is a valid question for anyone to ask if this is for real that I can be pure once and for all. We are not talking about a few weeks nor a few months here, not even months, but for the rest of my life. I doubt it myself too, but I only doubt myself, not God the source of power. This is a critical decision in my life to join this program. And interestingly a great motivation for me joining this program is because of you, as I want to lead you to live a life dependent on God, and to do that I need your help, which I know you are more than willing to provide.

I am halfway into Hudson Taylor & Maria - a match made in heaven.
I finally read up to the part where the two finally overcame all obstacles and got married.
"Far more significant was the influence of Maria upon her husband. Her religious development had been more orderly; she served to steady Hudson's faith while he deepened hers."
"(Maria) was largely responsible for the common sense and balance characteristic of Taylor at the height of his powers."
"She made him take holidays."
"He became more assured, grew up"
"Her passionate nature fulfilled his warm-blooded yearning to love and be loved"
"She gave him full response, a fostering and feeding affection so that together they had such a reservoir of love that it splashed over to refresh all, Chinese or European, who came near them."

I found that most of the above statements apply to how your presence influences me hon.
You not only steady my faith but give me the power to advance it; and I hopefully have led and will continue to lead you to deepen your faith.
You always give me wise opinions in my ministries, and help me to think twice before I make rushed decisions. In short, you help me to think straight when I am losing sense.
When you are by my side, I am always more confident, because I know you always support me.
You are so precious that I want to love you more, give you more, and in return I feel your passion and evolving, dedicated love.
While we should not engage in self-praising, I do believe that God did use us to bless others; He used us as one unit, not two individuals. If He is willing, we will be able to bless many more.

Love,
Andrew